Mort (2000)

MORT was Unseen’s first production. It was performed in March 2000 at the Tower Arts Centre in Adelaide. To see how we went, read the “Mort Report” below.

Mort is a young country boy with striking red hair. He’s shy and gangly and doesn’t seem to know quite where his hands or feet are at any one time. He lives on the Discworld. One day his father takes him into town to be apprenticed. All the young boys stand in the market place. Carpenters, blacksmiths, and candlemakers come and choose an apprentice to train in their trade. But Mort is the last one left standing there, thinking that no one wants him. At last towards evening there is a clip clop along the street. It is a skeleton in a black cowled cloak. DEATH. Mort (what an appropriate name) is chosen. They go off and get a curry.

Mort has some problems undertaking his deathly duties. Death seems to be going through a mid-life (er, mid-death?) crisis and goes AWOL, leaving Mort on duty. Mort wonders what would happen if he didn’t take the scythe and swing it through the neck of a person about to die? Funnily enough, Mort finds this out when he cannot bring himself to scythe Princess Keli…

Quote 1:
“But you’re Death,”said Mort. “You go around killing people!”
I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT’S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT’D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN’T IT?
“Well, yes – ” said Mort, doubtfully.
….
“Er,” he began, “I don’t have to die to get the job, do I?”
BEING DEAD IS NOT COMPULSORY.
“And…. the bones…. ?”
NOT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO.

Quote 2:
“It’s beautiful,” said Mort softly. “What is it?”
THE SUN IS UNDER THE DISC, said Death.
“Is it like this every night?”
EVERY NIGHT, said Death. NATURE’S LIKE THAT.
“Doesn’t anyone know?”
ME. YOU. THE GODS. GOOD, IS IT?
“Gosh!”
Death leaned over the saddle and looked down at the kingdoms of the world.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, he said, BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.

Quote 3:
WHO ARE YOU BOY?
“Mort, sir,” said Mort. “Your apprentice. You remember?”
Death stared at him for some time. Then the pinpoint blue eyes turned back at the book.
OH YES, he said, MORT. WELL, BOY, DO YOU SINCERELY WISH TO LEARN THE UTTERMOST SECRETS OF TIME AND SPACE?
“Yes, sir. I think so, sir.”
GOOD. THE STABLES ARE AROUND THE BACK THE SHOVEL HANGS JUST INSIDE THE DOOR.

“The Mort Report” by Pamela Munt

Well, our first production, “Mort” went extremely well. Although we went into first night thinking that there were so many more things we could do with it if only we had more time, I think that sort of feeling must just “go with the territory” of producing a Pratchett play. One could go on adding final touches forever! Or as our Director said “we could have kept ‘tweaking’ the show for a long time – but we had to open sometime.”

Anyway, we had a fantastic response. Full houses some nights and close to full on most others. One fan insisted on buying all of our raffle tickets (we were raffling at interval a statuette of Death) just to ensure that he would win, and another wanted to buy our sign on the door which related to the Fresh Start Club. Love those fans!! They almost make you feel famous!!

Here are some quotes from our reviews (hand picked of course):-

“With Erik Strauts as Director, the Unseen Theatre Company’s premiere production, supported by the Blackwood Players, is innovative, original and lethally funny.”

“Bruce Alcorn’s prosthetic make up is the best I can recall seeing in an amateur production and his inspired expertise is matched by the costumes of Pamela Munt, Vi Rowe and several others.”

“If this production is an example of what can be expected by Adelaide’s newest theatre company, then comedy theatre has just achieved new heights.”

I would like (as Production Manager) to give hearty thanks to all of our fans out there who saw the show. A play is nothing without an audience to watch it.

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An audience member sent us this comment:

“Recently I went to the performance of Mort by the Unseen Theatre Company as advertised in a previous issue of Discworld Monthly. The performance was fantastic and the casting immaculate. Especially notable were the special effects, specifically the use of large echo speakers and hidden microphones that could allow Mort to make his voice boom whenever needed, and the use of strobe lights to enhance the slow-motion scenes, namely whenever Death’s scythe was swung and the fight between Death and Mort near the end. All in all, the opening night was a huge success, and I look forward to the future productions by the group.” (Ben Crisp)