Don’t Bank On It

Unseen’s cash box has just been sitting here in the office for a long time now (ignored by the Thieves Guild of course, the snobs, no it’s all forgotten now). So we decided to apply to open an account at a new bank in Ankh Morkpork, called “Eezy Banking”. After 3 months of nothing happening, we finally received our application parchment back in the mail only to find that it had been rejected! The problem was marked in heavy red ink. We had not filled out the form correctly. We had failed to specify whether the account holder was a Mr/Ms/Miss/Mrs.

Shortly after this, the whole building of Eezy Banking was mysteriously pushed into the Ankh river by a number of trolls. No one knows why the trolls would have done such a thing, but Corporal Carrot has been around to all the guilds claiming that the trolls were working for us. Unseen does of course have a couple of trolls who work as our backstage crew. However, when shown a drawing of the suspect trolls, Pamela told Carrot that it just looked like a lump of rock to her, so it couldn’t be anything to do with us.

Unexpectedly, the Eezy Banking building did not sink but settled atop the river and is still operating from there. The bank is reportedly delighted about its new situation. Very few customers now venture across the river to go into the branch, for fear of stepping on a patch of water on the river and falling through. It has now changed its name to The River Bank. It drifts downstream at the rate of about an inch per year, so unfortunately may take a while to disappear.

In the meantime, after much debate we have reapplied for an account for “Ms Unseen Theatre Company” and hope to have it opened by next winter.