Guards! Guards! (2000)

Welcome once again to the Discworld – a disc-shaped world (you know like a pizza but without the anchovies) which rides on the back of four gigantic elephants, who in turn are supported by the great A-tuin, a mighty turtle swimming through endless space in search of a mate.

Last time as, you will remember, we visited Mort ­ DEATH¹S apprentice, following his adventures through time, reality, love and the streets of Discworld¹s largest, most foul smelling city, Ankh-Morpork. This is a place where thieves, assassins, “women of the street”, trolls, dwarfs and salesmen like Cut Me Own Throat Dibbler, run rampant.

This time we return to Ankh-Morpork to find out just who would bother to run such a disgusting city. Of course it used to be a King many years ago until he very conveniently died, apparently without an heir. Now the Patrician thinks he is the supreme ruler.

Drunken and world weary Captain Vimes of the City Watch is prepared to admit the logic of this but knows that the city really belongs to the person who understands it, caresses it, treats it like the demanding “woman” that it is and guards it with his life ­ him.

His “staff” includes Nobbs, a converted thief (well nearly converted anyway), cowardly, overweight and opportunistic Sergeant Colon, and the newest recruit ­ literal-minded, law abiding Lance-Constable Carrot, who is a six foot tall “adopted” dwarf with a rather royal looking birthmark on his shoulder.

The Elucidated Brethren of Ebon Night has other views. Its not too bright members are plotting, in their secret meeting places, with dubious passwords, and borrowed magic, to overthrow all other claims by summoning a Dragon (which they would control) to rule the city.

The battle for power is on!! The City Watch, is fighting for truth, justice and the Ankh-Morporkian way, aided by Lady Ramkin, a small swamp dragon and the Librarian of Unseen University (who just happens to be an orangutan).